huge list of puns
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

alex-lauriex:

Raj: How about you decide this with Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock?

Kripke: What the frig is that? 

Sheldon: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock was created by Internet pioneer Sam Kass as an improvement on the classic game Rock-Paper-Scissors.

gentlemencinder:

strangelykatie:

Full version of my comic Counting Stars, which I drew for a competition.

Absolutely beautiful, manly tears were had.

whatsdrarryeh:

p3n1s:

Instant reblog every time

BLESS THIS MOTHER FUCKING POST.
dild0wizard:

vagueoff:

HAAAAAAA

i fucking love this, holy shit. 

dild0wizard:

vagueoff:

HAAAAAAA

i fucking love this, holy shit. 

flawless people being flawless | neil patrick harris

Everyone has six names.

1. Your Real name: Keith Berman

2. Your detective name (Favorite color and favorite Animal): Green Manatee

3. Your soap opera name (middle name and street you live on): Michael Almaden

4. Your Star wars name (first three letters of last name, first two of middle name, first two of first, last three of last): Bermikeman

5. Superhero name (color of your shirt, first item to your immediate left): Nothing Clock

6. Goth name (Black and one of your pets): Black Bird

itstrulyepic:

“Time Lord and Proud” Only $10 at www.teefury.com - 24 hours onlyGreat Christmas Gift for your Doctor Who fan, or just keep it for yourself

itstrulyepic:

“Time Lord and Proud” Only $10 at www.teefury.com - 24 hours only
Great Christmas Gift for your Doctor Who fan, or just keep it for yourself